The Wall

Last summer I was in Berlin for a few days with Z. We did not do all that much. We went to some film museum in Potsdam, which was so so, and I visited the Reichstag. . .. This summer I really have not done anything touristy, and I really do not intend on. I am here in Berlin to work, and not to be distracted. But I remember when I was here last time I went to Checkpoint Charlie and the Mauer Museum there. It was somewhat of an emotional experience. Many of those emotions have been coming back to me lately as I speak to Germans here about living in East Berlin and the social and economic and political divides that personify this city.

Now, divided cities are not unusual. Beirut during the 80s, Berlin during communism, and Jerusalem (sort of) are just a few examples. (Hmmmm, all these cities that were on my tour . . .) But each division has meaning, and for me, they all see to take some personal meaning. The reunification of Jerusalem in 1967 was not an even I was around for. But the repercussions are still felt today for me as a supporter of the little state. The reunification of Berlin was an event that I remember. I recall watching on TV the tearing down of the wall. I remember watching George Bush talking about it on TV in my parents' basement when I was about 15 years old. I am not sure I grasped the significance of it then, and I did not spend much time thinking about it since. But being here, living here in East Berlin makes it a rather pervasive experience.

East Berlin is now part of Berlin. The unification of Germany (which if memory serves, is noted in many rabbinic books (eg the Meshech Chochma (maybe Rashi too) as a harbinger of doom) profoundly effected Germany and especially Berlin. Berliners were not drafted in the German army because just being in Berlin put them on the front lines. Berliners were treated as a sort of martyrs for Germany. . .

But now it is different. Berlin is now the capitol. (As of like two years ago, and the people are not used to it.) West Germany is still bailing out East Germany's post-communist economy. And all Germans are profoundly aware of the changes.

Having spoken to people about this a lot lately, I am forced to bring up the memories of last summer and the memories of a whole lifetime in understanding my reactions to a unified Germany.

When I was a child my friend "C" and I had stamp collections (I stopped when I was around 9 years old, and took up other hobbies). I was fascinated by what was important enough to a country that they would put it on their stamps. I marvelled at the fact that some country would put fish, or Mickey mouse, or flowers or military leaders, or candy on their stamps. I was amused. There were two countries from which I had no stamps. If I got any by accident I threw them out. In the album where I used to keep all my stamps I just scribbled all over the page that was meant for those stamps. The two countries were Germany and Russia. I really did hate both of those countries.

Needless to say the reasons why were obvious. Growing up in a family with four grandparents who were victims in in one way or another of the Nazis, there was no way I could ever think Germany a civilized place populated with human beings and the like. I wanted no part of them. At age 7, that meant no Nazi stamps for me.

I hated Russia for equally obvious reasons. The Russians were communists. If that is not enough, they were anti freedom. People wanted to leave; they could not. People wanted to enter business for themselves they could not. People wanted to practice their religions; they could not. Moreover, Brooklyn where I grew up was the central place for the struggle to free Jewish Soviet dissidents. I remember hearing about rallies and protests to help free Sharansky and other Soviet Jews. The few reports that did come out that I was able to hear about from Russians in 1986, 87, and 88 who got out were exactly like they were described by Orwell in his nightmarish 1984.

It wasn't until I really started thinking about the fall of the wall did I have to really ask myself who I hated more.

For me, the Berlin wall represented two opposing things that I never really reconciled. On the one hand the Berlin wall meant that Germany was punished. This is how the world hurt Germany. It took the country and divided it in two. Half suffered under the Russians while the other half was rebuilt by the allies and was never allowed to have its own real military, and still had to pay reparations.

On the other hand the Berlin wall represented the communist stronghold in Europe. The commies were next door to all the good Allied countries. The communists had bases and stuff there. They were repressing more and more people. Who can forget Ronald Regan's "Mr. Grobachev, tear down that wall!" speech. I can't. I never will.

The Berlin wall was Germany's punishment, but it was also the world's. And while I didn't mind punishing Germany, I did not like the idea of the evil in the world getting stronger.

Except for the fact that the Nazis killed my family (and were more brutal), and the communists killed 50 million others, there is little difference between their insane totalitarian mentalities. They were both looking out for the good of the world. Granted, the communists envisioned it all at least in theory turning out like a real utopia for all, and the Nazis saw a utopia with only white protestants, and everyone else dead, but in practice, and in the short run that is not what happened.

So being here in East Berlin is a rather strange phenomenon. On the one hand I am in a place that turned in to a Jew-killing factory overnight. It is a place that tortured and killed the families of some of my closest relatives. I am walking on a place that I was quite happy was enslaved by the Soviets. The people left in Germany didn't deserve any better.

On the other hand, as a Jew, I do get off knowing that I am more welcome here (in Germany) than most anyone else. As a Jew I have more rights and protections, both officially and unofficially than anyone can imagine.

As an American I am walking on ground that was once communist and is now part of a free-market democracy. On two levels I am expressing triumph over enemies. But I am walking on graves.