Readjusting one's life-plan

There has been little to report lately. I am sitting here in formerly-communist east Berlin talking to some people, but mostly holed up doing work. That has given me much time to think about life and my work, but little that I thought would be interesting enough for the viewing public.

A thought that did strike me was something I said to "H" at a party on my last night in Tel Aviv, that I really can't get out of my head. We were sitting there thinking about the direction of or lives, and I thought about my family and siblings, and many of the people I grew up with. When they were born their lives were laid out for them. There was this plan, this outline that they had to fit in to. For the most part, most of them did.

They went to school, got married, got a job, and are now early on in the establishing-a-life phase. Now here is what I told "H": When I was younger I had a plan. I knew that at age 20 I would be here, and at 25 I would be here and at 30 I would be here. I have since made peace with the fact that my life will not go according to that plan. I am not where I ever thought I would be at my age. That is OK. However, I never made a new plan. And I feel like I do not know where I am supposed to be. I feel like I am floating, and I feel like I am supposed to have a plan, and daily I wake up wondering what it is." She claimed to feel the same way.