Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Why all Europeans have the same immoral opinions

Allow me to apologize on behalf of America for disagreeing with you, my European friend. I know that it appears to you that my fellow countrymen and our leadership often say these dumb and immoral things which offend your refined moral sensibilities. Often we make unilateral decisions that go against conventional EU wisdom.

Our most outspoken critics often come from countries like Germany and France. After thinking about it a bit the reasons for this are clear. Our countries have very different ethnic, biological and cultural heritages which I believe is responsible for the rather large disparity of opinion. In Europe, especially in countries like Germany, France, Austria, and Belgium, there was a glorious period where all the people with the wrong opinion were removed. Your country was cleansed of Jews, political thinkers, gypsies, and homosexuals. They and their immoral kinds were thankfully eliminated from your streets, your homes, your libraries, your educational systems, and were afforded new homes in gas chambers and mass graves. Those sneaky immorals who managed to survive ended up not in your country, but in countries like the US and England. There they mixed with other immoral creatures who fled your countries in previous religious purges. Once here they were compelled to get along despite their differences. They enriched each other's tradition and continued to build a society that was inclusive and open to various kinds of immorality.

Your own countries thankfully were able to come out of this glorious period fairly Judenrein. Your independent political thinkers retained their glorious positions in such ancient bastions of learning, and transmitted their great values to their biological and intellectual heirs. You managed to keep a system in place such that all "foreign" values were political heresies, and all foreigners remain foreigners for generations to come.

My own country could not do that. We welcomed in these immoral Jews and political thinkers. We took in all the "inferiors" you spit out. You kept your Heideggers and Sartres and we were left with your Einsteins and Godels. You were able to keep your opinions homogeneous, monolithic, pure, and inbred. We were relegated to end up pluralistic, robust, diverse, democratic, and adaptive.

Apparently we lost out. You keep telling us tat we are immoral, that we poke our noses in to the rest of the world too much. May I remind you that until your golden age of ruthless barbaric warfare, we tried it your way. Then we felt the need to protect those whom you deemed to immoral and unfit to live. I do not think you will find too many people in this country making apologies for that. Remember too that there are none among you who know what it is like to stop a tyrannical dictator. I suspect that none of you understand why it is even important. The very existence of each individual in your country is a testament to the fact that you were never subject to a dictator, but rather that you were a collaborator to one.

Your people killed off anyone who looked or thought differently from the way you did. Your people were beasts. Your countries are thus full of the intellectual and biological descendants of monsters, and I envy your ability to stay so self-righteous despite that.

Next time my country is hesitant to join the reigning orthodoxy, next time my country has radically different opinions, please get up before a large international body like your EU or UN. Remind the world not what your opinions are, but rather the Nazification and Vichification process that was needed to kill off all other opinions. Remind the world that your ability to unify under the banner of the good is easy once you eliminate immorality from your midst. Give us your plans for the construction of reeducation camps, like those which are sprinkled across your continent as a sad testament to your ability to eliminate heterodoxy. Remind us that you are right because you are pure, and we are wrong because we are polluted. Remind us that you keep out foreigners, and create few new citizens, while we create Americans out of anybody. Remind us what it means to have everyone trained with the same opinion. Remind us of the evils of dissent. Finally, remind us that while your countries have mostly stopped their active ethnic and intellectual cleansing, they still retain the virtue of being ethnically clean.