The Aristocrats

Douglas Hofstadter is like a god to many of us geeks. He inspired a generation of people to pursue such intellectual fields as artificial intelligence, computer science, cognitive science, logic, philsophy and much more. Mostly it was his Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid that made many of us devotees. But another one of his great books was Le Ton Beau de Marot: In Praise of the Music of Language. The book essentially takes a short poem ("Ma Mignonne") of Clement Marot and gets dozens of differnt people (and machines) to tranlate it from French to English, and weaves it in to a very long (600 large pages!) discussion on the nature of language. This is of course simplifying the book, but you get the idea. It is a wonderful book.

Now imagine that instead of having an obscure poem and famous (and not so famous) literary snobs to the translating, you have an obscure joke - a filthy disgusting obscure joke. Then you have about 100 filthy and disgusting famous comedians retell the joke their own way, and then you put weave it all together in what resembles a documentary film about this joke. You get a really good film.

The Aristocrats is an "in" joke among comedians that has apparently been around since the days of vaudeville. There is no authorative version, and everyone tells it their own way. Like translations, the version you hear reflects the writer as much as anything else.

It is really a vile joke, and it is not funny. Those are the only two constants that all the versions have, but watching it get told over and over, interspersed between discussion of it becomes very funny. No two comedians have the same version. And it is something that they all know. If you do not mind hearing a very gross joke get told over and over and over, go see it.

Cindy Sheehan and the media spectacle

I was in my parents' home yesterday and the news was on and there was a story about Cindy Sheehan. Cindy Sheehan lost her son in Iraq and now wants to talk to President Bush.

The first thing that one has to realize is that you really can't be too angry at a woman who lost her son in war. She deserves our sympathy. Everyone knows this, but she and her new Michael Moore-like friends are exploiting this. They are exploiting her, and they are exploiting her dead son. I am sure her son, who signed up for the Army would be humiliated if he knew what his mother is doing.

I frankly find moveon.org, and the other organizations who are using this woman dispicable. Let her mourn in peace. It disgraces her son's death to have him used like this. Nothing good will come of it other than giving Bush-haters more of a platform.

While we were watching the news, I announced, in the presence of my parents and sister-in-law that should I die in Iraq, I would appreciate them not geting up on TV and becoming spectacles. I was met with a rather stony silence. I guess that was not such a good thing to say to my mother. (My chances of dying are generally pretty low in the event I do get sent to Iraq.)But seriously, If I die, just say on TV what a loss my death is to humanity and all that sort of good stuff. Don't make it a political thing.

Gaza pullout and Strategic protesting

I am very much in favor of the Gaza pullout, but on the other hand I am very much in favor of protesting it as well. Remember, in cases like this protesting can be (what we game theorists call) strategic.

Sharon's goal is not to pull out. It is to pull out as a concession to the other sides (whomever that may be) so that he gets something in return. The more difficult it appears that it is for Sharon to pull out - because of resistance from within his own camp - the more he looks like he is giving up for the sake of peace or whatever.

The best way to support Sharon, it would reson is to let Sharon do his job and protest it. As a politician it is clear that he couldn't care less about protests (which politician does?), but it appears as if he is taking these bold, politically dangerous, and very generous steps. Next time he is asked to make a concession, he can point to the last time and show how difficult it was for him as an Israeli and a politician to conceede anything, and try to get more out of the deal.

The Palestinians are doing the same thing, only they are playing with live ammo. By showing that accepting only Gaza they are barely satisfying anyone - to the point that they can barely control the terrorist groups, it shows the world how much of a mere drop in the bucket is compared to what they really want.

I guess that that moral of the story is that if you like Israel, wear orange. If people ask for your personal politics, tell them what you really think.

Ecology and the Military

Here is an interesting and important lesson for ecologists that I'll bet you won't hear Greenpeace talking about. (Or this.)

Ameriquest sponsors Rolling Stones

So I really don't get this. First why would the Rolling Stones need sponsors? I can't imagine that selling sell-out performances for like $100 a ticket can't cover their expenses and net them a hefty profit? They need sponsors too? How greedy can these hippies be?

But I am OK with greed. It's the American way. Sell out, make money, and act self-righteous.

Apparently it is the British way too.

But this Amriquest, the famous mortgage company obviously tried to capitalize on this "America" theme with its name is now sponsoring the band who is lately famous for insulting the US government.

Again, I am OK with dissent, it is also part of the Amrican way. Come to the US (from England or wherever) make money, sell out, insult the country that let you make all this money, as well as the people who put the government in to place, and act self-righteous.

As little as I like all of this, it is the US and I'll deal. But I got to say, I am glad I had the freedom to choose where my mortgage came from. And I am glad it isn't Ameriquest. I hope they lower the interest rate, you loosers!

My take on a lot of News this past week

Hassidic Jews apparently have nothing on Saudi Wahabists when it comes to segregating the sexes. Fortunately there are Saudis who are learning how to fight back. Perhaps Hassidic Jews can learn something from all this.

I am certain that I mentioned this to friends a while ago, but apparently two people have now done it. Two straight guys get married for tax benefits. Well straight men and women have been doing it forever. (If I had a nickel for everysoldier I know who got married the day before he entered the Army so he can collect "separation pay", or people who get married on Dec 31 to grab tax benefits for the year. . . ) The moral of the story: abolish tax benefits for married people. Then only people who really love each other will get married. Better yet, abolish civil marriage all together. Why is it the government's business who is shtuping whom? Isn't marraige really a religion's job? Where is the ACLU when you need them? I want my Church and State apart here!

Apparently the state of Oregon is prosecuting for such horrible crimes as wedgies. While I agree that this behavior ought to be criminalized, are we not overprotecting our children? What is this kid (the victim) going to do when he gets in to the real world and has to fend for himself and the law and his mommy are not there to help him. I would never let any kid of mine grow up in a way that shields them from everything he is going to experience as an adult.

Same goes for many cases of sexual harassment. While I applaud the nod toward equality, I can't believe that a man sued for sexual harassment because he felt bullied by some female nurses who said things like "boys are icky" or something like that.

I don't want to sound cruel, but people in Niger will continue to starve until they learn that they cannot have more children than they can feed. The reason why many countries are poor is because the West supports them to the point where everyone lives on just enough to have many more children and get supported by us. I realize that their current condition was caused by a natural disaster (mostly locusts), but it is massively compounded by the fact that they did not have anything to start with, and have more people then they normally know how to feed. Birth control is an integral part of poverty control.

Why are reporters allowed special privlidges with respect to anonymity of their sources. Perhaps we should allow everyone those same rights? Free press is simply the right to take any piece of information you legally acquired and put it in to print. It does not grant you some special immunity from testifying. Why would people think it does? Plenty of reporters managed to get their job done without shielding anonymous sources. And if they can't? So what. There is no constitutional protection making sure that you can do every aspect of your job properly all the time in all cases.

Now that there are products that essentially let you easily choose the sex of your child or at least let you know in time to abort what the sex is, we are going to be in trouble. While I have no real objection to this on moral grounds, it seems like it can be dangerous. Nature does a good job of keeping things random. In China when people did this, and aborted female babies, they are left with millions of males who will never have girlfriends, wives, or sex. This product should be legal, but used with extreme caution.

Apparently, the mainstream media's ignoring of this is a bigger story than the actual scandal, but apparently "Air America" "borrowed" $875,000 from real charities to pay rich people like Al Franken to stay on the air. Them liberals sure know how to stick together, no? Now there are boys and girls clubs who have to wait for their money, while bitching about rich republicans not giving them enough in the first place.

This fucking guy. Let's return his foreskin, kick him out, and call it a day.

Apparently Harry Potter is pretty popular with Gitmo prisoners. I hope we don't start mishandling those. If we flush a copy down the toilet or something God-knows who will start bitching. Also, it seems like these freakish religious loonies were not supposed to read stuff about religious magic and all that. Of course I think we ought to flood Iraq and the rest of the Arab world with copies in Arabic. It might make them chill out a bit more.

Why do we care if some athlete uses steroids? If it is bad for him then he'll suffer, not me. I'll enjoy watching a good game. Let them all use it. A better game for me to watch. Maybe they should have two leagues, like with the XFL and their more liberal rules, where they allow steroids in one and not the other.

Peter Jennings dies. I never really liked him much anyway. Mainstream media is the problem. His death ought to be a metaphor for the big media giants.

Kant and Armstrong

That is Immanuel Kant and Lance Armstrong. I think that Kant would not be pleased seeing all these people walking around with "Live Strong" bracelets. I assume Kant would say that all these people's charity would have no moral worth as it was given to get a bracelet, and not really for giving charity. After all, how many people would have given charity if it were not for getting the bracelet? For Kant, you see, your motive is very important.

And it should be obvious why motives are important. If you think you are giving money to the KKK, and by accident you addressed your check to the Starving Children in Nebraska Fund, you are still a prick, even though your money went for a good purpose. That is because you intended you money to go to a bad place. So what you intend really does matter.

Of course in our case the money still seems to go to charity, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be trendy and wear a bright bracelet, but Kant would have a problem looking at it as a good moral act.

Of course, on a deeper level, one might want to say that the bracelets are not worn to be trendy, but rather as an attempt to psychologyically coerce others to give to charity. After all, everyone knows that people aren't very bright, and they tend to just want to do what other people do, so if everyone openly claims (by wearing the bracelet) that they gave money to a charitable organization, and thus gets others to do it, then perhaps some moral worth can be salvaged from this after all. But not for most people.

Mill, I assume, would ask if the money could have been spent elsewhere in a better way. He would also ask if the money going to the Chinese who make the bracelets is actually helping or hurting the people of China. He would ask if the bracelets are good or bad for the environment. He would want to know if the money is going to somehwere that has any hope of helping people who have cancer. He would ask what value we put on the coolness factor of having the bracelets. He would also ask how much better people feel when they make fun of people who wear the bracelet. He would ask how good it feels to condescend to people who don't. Then he would try to add up all of that in terms of how much it helps and hurts humanity. If it helps more than it hurts, then he would look at it as a good thing. If it is discovered that in the long run humanity is actually harmed by them, then he would find it bad.

Miami

I spent the morning on the beach here in Miami beach. Lovely place, though pretty dull without the beach. I leave for the airport in about a half hour. Can't wait to be back in NY.

Rest of time in Venezuela

On Friday night "LT" and I went to a club where we had a real good time doing stuff that guys do at clubs. It was fun.

Saturday we went to go see some of the stuff in the main capital square in Caracas. It was a busy square like many others. There were lots of obnoxious vendors. We saw this museum of really kitschy South-American Jesus stuff. We saw what must have been the Abu-Ghraib of the Venezuelan Church of a few hundred years ago. (Some torture chamber in the main Chapel.)

There were lots of book vendors selling these cheesy books on alternative medicine, sandwiched between Spanish translations of Mein Kampf and Michael Moore's Estúpidos hombres blancos.

There was a big truck in the square that the police kept filling up over the course of the day with what must have been drunks and political dissidents.

At night we went to see the movie Kung-fu Hustle. It is in Chinese and it was subtitled in to Spanish. So I understood nothing. But it was still quite a bit of fun. It was actually an enjoyable movie.

Then, we went to the only open bar in Venezuela. Sunday was election day, and so by law the bars could not be open the night before. Apparently they wanted everyone not to be hung-over when they voted. As if that is what keeps people from voting. So we found an illegally open bar and went with 10 of our newest friends and drank a lot and danced till about 3 in the morning. Needless to say I was not awake enough the next day to go vote. I understand they might not have let me anyway. So I am glad I broke that law.

Sunday, after the locals voted, "LT" our Hostess, her daughter, and I drove about 2 hours to their beach-place. We went to the beach and spent Sunday night there and came back on Monday. On the beach we ate fish that must have been caught about an hour beforehand. It was pretty good.

Monday we got home and then "LT" and I went to buy gifts for our hostess and her family. This morning, we took a plane to Miami, where we are now. We should be flying back to NY tomorrow evening.

The Caracas airport is very third world. There are a bunch of taxes they spring on you at the airport, and like 12 lines you have to stand on, only about 3 of which are actually necessary. It was like the airport was designed by a pre-literate people. (Actually, it might have been.)

On the airplane "LT" and I managed to score bulkhead seats with lots of legroom. On the seats next to us was this guy who made sure he didn't go 10 minutes without offering me some of the Jack Daniels from the bottle in his knapsack. There was also an anesthesiologist from Ecuador. Neither spoke English very well, but we managed just fine.

A few observations about Venezuela.

The Venezuelans are very proud of their women. If you are having a conversation with any local and they know you are a visitor it is inevitably less than three minutes before they rhetorically ask you what you think of the women. You are supposed to make a very approving gesture. They will next point out that they have had five Miss Universe winners.

Venezuelan women try very hard to look good. Many even succeed. You can really tell that many try really hard.

A good chunk of the country blame everything on Chavez. He is the current president. Apparently he has been squandering the countries oil wealth on crap. He started by publicly killing some of the opposition, and releasing a good chunk of prisoners and using them as thugs for his party - MVR. If you are poor and a member of his party, you will somehow find a job. If you have ever voiced any opposition, by say, signing a petition or something like that, you get blacklisted from lots of jobs, especially in medicine, academia and government. Under Chavez, according to the people I have spoken to, crime rose, the economy went bad, and the country is getting run to the ground.

Apparently Hugo Chavez fancies himself the reincarnation of Simon Bolivar, the famed liberator of most of South American from colonialism. Chavez renamed everything in the country after Bolivar, including the currency, the airports, etc. ALL the coins have the exact same face of Bolivar on them. It's a bit dull.

The socialist worker's dream has not yet been realized.

There is a good chunk of anti-American sentiment around, but I was pretty shielded from it. It was on TV, radio and other public media.

The country would benefit greatly if we airlifted some common sense in to the place.

They have some pretty good food here. The satandard arrepas and other stuff is pretty good. Though, some of the restaraunts would never pass a health inspection in the US.

It is amazing how poorly the water facilities and the sewage in the country work. Most toilets are not very good. Toilet paper has a rough time time. Water pressure in showers is not up to what your average American is used to.

Finally, I am now pretty certain that Spanish is not a real language. I understood about 30% of what was going on around me. I had exactly zero minutes of Spanish lessons in my life. How did I manage to get things? It is weird.

In Caracas

Yesterday me, "LT" and our hostess (a friend of "LT") climbed a mountain, I think was called Altamera. It was a good climb. There were all sorts of locals there doing it too. Apparently it is an activity here, groups of friends, couples, old people, and kids.

At night first we wenty out for some Chinese food, then we went with a bunch of people out to Las Mercedes (the fancy neighborhood), and to some nice night spot and drank - alot. We then went out for arrepas and more local beer.

My Spanish is improving.

Today we went to the shopping center, and to the capitol, and some famous chapel. We ate in some Italian restaraunt for lunch, and are getting ready for dinner now.

Remind me to talk about the politics here later.

Arrived safely

I arrived here in Caracas safe and sound. I have yet to see much of the place, so I am withoolding judgement. There is a lot of stuff here. People say all sorts of funny things. I think I already saw the seedy district and a political demonstration.

Apparently in Miami there is

Apparently in Miami there is absolutely zero presumption that someone speaks English.

All is well here in

All is well here in Miami international airport. my flight to venezuela leaves in an hour.

Vacation

I am taking my only real vacation of the summer tomorrow. I'm off to Venezuela for a week. Just to relax. Nothing else.

Google gematria

Did anyone ever notice that gematria for google is 42?